Incarnate
by Cynnamon
Summary: Bella has memories of a previous incarnation. When her previous life starts catching up to her she sets out to discover the Purpose she keeps remembering. There is only one man who can tell her, and she only knows him as the Creator. ON HIATUS


Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters or plot of Twilight. No profit is being made. It's all for my own pleasure, and yours now.

* * *

**Incarnate **- A Twilight FanFiction

_Prologue_

I was in that kind of mood again. My fingers were itching to feel the smooth keys beneath them; ready to record my every movement. I felt like I could finally understand part of what I had grown up knowing. I was ready to write it down in the memory of my computer.

Edward was hunting this weekend so I had plenty of time to get my thoughts down. I knew almost exactly what I wanted to say, but there was the problem of getting it to sound just right. For once I was confident that what I wrote would turn out right. My thoughts were overflowing, and I felt I had to write now, before I lost my 'high'.

I sighed. The computer would take forever to start up. I pressed the power button and left. I went into the bathroom, simply for the purpose of having something to do while I waited. I looked into the mirror. No surprises waited there; just my reflection staring back at me with distraction in the eyes. If I concentrated I could make my face disappear from my sight. I could make my eyes see _her_ instead.

I watched as my mind created an illusion. My hair was sleeker, no wave or curl marred the length. The colour was darker: black, which had the slightest blue glow in the fluorescent light. Strange, I thought. I shouldn't have known to create that effect. After all, she never existed in the time of electric lights, let alone halogens. My nose was longer, straighter. My jaw: wider, but in perfect proportion to the rest of my face. My brow was perfectly balanced and dark eyebrows framed my eyes, which where now longer, more cat-like, though still wide. The colour had darkened to a light-consuming black. The face in the mirror was mine, yet not. It was the face of a roman woman, both handsome and beautiful. The wide, but perfectly fitted, mouth was drawn into a playful smile. She was powerful and confident, dangerous, and she was wise and knowledgeable. She was ageless; the true incarnation of a vampire.

I tore my eyes from the image of the nameless woman – I never remembered names. I returned to my room knowing the computer would be ready for my use. I would have written this long ago. Had I only known what it was I needed to write. Instead I had written of dreams I had seen; dreams of real people. No one would believe that though. If I were to ever show my writings to anyone. But I wouldn't. Now I knew the facts that I had been missing. I didn't have the entire story, but I had enough to make sense of it. That was enough for now.

I opened an empty word document. I stared at the blank page for a moment, gathering my thoughts. I placed my fingers on the keys, then, I started writing.

_I had always known. I had always known that a part of me knew of a different time, had lived a different life; a life before mine had begun. I grew up listening to nursery rhymes no one else had heard of; she – who was indeed me and yet not – told me stories her mother had told her and accounts of the many people she had met during her long years. _

_She told me about her sense of purpose. How she had at fourteen known exactly what she wanted to do; how she had left her father's house in the hour before dawn to find the one the wind spoke of, and of how she had travelled for seven years before she had found him. For it had to be him, and no other, who would bring her into the immortality she craved for._

_She told of how he had been unwilling to take her blood in exchange; how he had been afraid she would regret it. She whispered of him telling her to live a full human life, of seeing what life had to offer before she gave everything up. But she knew what she wanted, and there was no deterring her determined heart. _

_She knew a human life had nothing to offer. Her desires surpassed the mortal lifespan. She wanted to see history write itself, but she never wanted to be part of it. She wanted immortality for the sake of being immortal, and he, who had lived a life of over three hundred years, could not deny her. _

_But she would never tell of that purpose she had felt in the beginning. It faded into the background over the long years, and she lived her life for herself, always. If she ever found her purpose she never told me of it. It was a secret kept from herself: me._

_Of course there was never an actual entity, a consciousness, within me telling me of great empires and true masters of art. It was more like having suffered amnesia and seeing dreams of what you'd forgotten. There was a deep founded recognition of what was shown; a sense of 'Yes, I did that; that was me'. Yet there was a profound detachment. Something that said: 'Yes, that was me, but I'm not that person anymore'. _

_She and I were the same, yet not. We were – are – both unsuited for mortality. We both wanted – needed – to shed the chains of time to achieve our full potential. But we were so different. She had no qualms in killing the evildoer to slake her thirst. She let her nature dictate her habits, while I didn't know if I could kill an animal to sustain myself without feeling guilt. __The desire for immortality was based in deep selfishness for the both of us. Though I never did completely understand her reason, for they are hers, and – though I am she and she is me – we are not the same, I do know that my reasons are also based in the desire to protect those I love. As far as I know, her creator could have bee the only person she ever truly loved._

_That is an aspect of her that I will never understand. How in her impressive sixteen centuries of existence she had only__ loved three people enough to let thoughts of them distract her, I would never understand. When my life had always been filled with love for my family, worry for those who warranted my love. _

_No, that is a lie. I do understand. I do. Hadn't I, for my entire life in Phoenix, disregarded everyone I saw day to day in school, or anywhere else for that matter? Yes. It had nothing to do with people not wanting to be with me. It was all me, not wanting – not caring – to be around them. It was simply that I found no one was worth my time and effort. It was a form of arrogance that I was well acquainted with. _

_Sixteen centuries of watching people and time flow past her, while she remained unchanged – though not untouched. Never once did she take – or make – a companion for herself, at least to my my knowledge. I admit, I'd never thought of it this way. There is nothing in my memory of searching for a mate, of watching the crowds in hope of someone catching her eye. I wonder if she ever did it, unconsciously. Nor did I ever sense a greater loneliness. There were of course periods when she would miss her creator, whose name I could never remember – I never remembered names – and who she loved dearly, for she often travelled alone. But who knew, I have not come anywhere near knowing her whole life. That, I knew, was still a long way off._

_Her lifestyle was another mystery to me. She, more often than not, lived in the centre of a metropolis. I had never heard of vampires doing such, other than the Volturi. (When I had been told of them, I had been given the impression that they were in some way unique. I would eventually have to ask for the entire story.) It seemed she had a superior control to any other vampire I had met. For though Carlisle abstained from human blood and worked as a doctor, it was nothing compared to how she lived amongst and interacted with people as naturally as their hearts beat in their chests. And yet, she fed on the blood of the evildoer as often as she wished. I was in awe of her, much like her victims often were before she let their blood fill her mouth._

I was brought out of my musings by the sound of a car pulling up in the drive. Edward? Why was he here? Wasn't he supposed to be hunting? I thought about it for a moment, then, decided that it didn't matter. He would tell me.

I let my fingers rest on the keyboard for another moment. I typed in a few more words to bring conclusion to my entry. I saved my work and left the computer to shut down alone. I hoped that Edward never got too bored while he watched me sleep. I definitely did not want him to see those files. There was no need for me to speak of my being a reincarnation of an ancient vampire. Not yet at least. Maybe someday I would tell him.

I put on my coat as I left the house. Edward was leaning against the passenger side door of his Volvo. I smiled as I approached him, and I was generously rewarded with a smile of his own. He opened the door for me. I blushed slightly. He simply refused to stop that. I kissed him in greeting before I slid into the car. He pushed the door shut once he was sure no part of me was outside the car, and then proceeded to his own side. He sat down and pulled my face to his for another kiss.

"Weren't you supposed to be hunting with Jasper?" I asked him.

"Hmm, finished early," he hummed vaguely. He started the car. The hum of the engine was as soft as ever. He put the car into reverse and suddenly we were at the end of the street and speeding off.

"I don't believe you," I said. He glanced at me; he had a slightly roguish tilt to his crooked smile. I raised a brow. "Edward," I said.

"Yes darling?" he answered. I realised he was just teasing me. He had come back from hunting early, for the sake of seeing me. I blushed.

"Jasper and Emmett are going to end up hating me if you keep ditching them," I said.

"They don't mind." Sure they don't, I rolled my eyes.

"Well for what it's worth: I'm glad you're back," I confessed. I refused to look at him; I refused to blush. He pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"I know, and I'm glad I'm back too," he said.

"Keep your eyes on the road, damn it!" I shrieked. He laughed, and behind my pout I was laughing too.

Yes, one day I would definitely tell him about the woman I was once. It would be a real eye-opener for him. One day I would tell him all the stories stored away in my head. I glanced at him. He was smiling softly; his eyes were firmly focused on the road. I smiled indulgently. He noticed my gaze and smiled at me, then returned his gaze to the road obediently.

Yes, that would be nice.

* * *

Hi, this is Cynnamon.

I hope you enjoyed the prologue to what I hope will be a long lived story.

Now, I'd just like to make some notes on certain aspects that will be important later on in the story.

Firstly, though this is a Twilight fanfic I will be importing details from other stories. You see, I am a hopeless Anne Rice fan, but I don't have the confidence to go playing around with her characters full-time. So I'll be modifying the view and nature of vampires a little. Don't worry. I'm not going to make Edward sleep in a coffin. No, that would be weird. I just don't see it happening. Do you? And as much as I resent the glittering in the sunlight thing (it's just plain difficult to work with, ok) I'm going to try and keep things as close to canon as possible.

As much as I would love to tell you what changes I am going to make right now, I feel that that may be a little too revealing. Instead I'll be giving credits where it's due as I bring things up in the story. And those who are familiar with Rice's work may have recognized where I got the idea and maybe a little of where I'm going with this. But shh. It'll be our little secret. ;)

Secondly, this takes place during the summer between Twilight and New Moon. The scene between the two is really of no importance. I just wanted to bring Edward into the story and solidify the fact that Bella is not trying to hide anything, per ce. She's just a teensy bit nervous about telling her boyfriend that she believes in reincarnation and that her previous incarnation was indeed a vampire. I mean, that's quite I bomb to drop on someone, no matter how long they've lived.

Btw, I mentioned the _Volturi_ by name in there though I can't remember if Bella knows them by that name at this point. I can't be bothered to search through the book to check. It's like, 10 am and I'm not a morning person. So, correct me if I'm wrong.

Okay. So. I don't think there's anything else I'm missing. But drop me a line if something confuses you; I'll answer any questions as soon as possible.

Yours truly,

C Y N N A M O N


End file.
